You Fat Fuck...

You Fat Fuck....is a phrase I have been hearing for about half of my life. It is something that no matter how much you hear it and how much you shrug it off, the feeling of those words always hurts.

I have been pretty much called everything from a fat fuck to a pregnant lady's stunt double. It is time to make it stop.

This blog is going to be a 26yr old dudes journey through the awful world of weight loss with my crazy life thrown in.

There are 2 big things going against me. 1. I LOVE FOOD. I don't just love it like most people, food is my life. I think about it as much as I think about masturbation (and I think about that A LOT). I spend my free time researching restaurants and planning my next meal. 2. I am extremely lazy and love watching sports and crushing beers.

This is not my first foray into losing weight as in the past 2 yrs I have lost roughly 30-40lbs on two separate occasions but always putting it back on. This time I want to take the weight off and keep it off.

To describe me, I am about 6 foot 1 and weigh somewhere between 260-300lbs. This is not good. I would not call myself obese but if I were in a dark room and a dude was brought in w the lights off and said feel this person up and tell me what you think. They would probably respond with "judging by her tits I think I would fuck her" only then when they turn the lights on to see me.

The kick start for my weight loss is something I like to call "the squeeze" every porker like myself knows what I am talking about. The squeeze is when you are in a store and are trying to buy clothing and force your body with all your might to get into it and convince yourself it fits when you know damn well that button is gonna pop and your rolls are hanging out.

The squeeze can also happen when you are trying on your own clothing, say a tuxedo. This is my situation. I have my best friends wedding coming up in 2 months and I need to get into a tux that fit me a year ago. This is my first goal. Get my fat ass into a tux that does not fit. Normally I would not care but my friends fiance is a little crazy, to put it nicely, and if I show up in anything but a fashionably tux she will cut my balls of and feed them to me.

So to anyone who actually reads this I wish you luck. I am gonna try and blog often about what I am eating how I am working out and the progress I am making with a little bit of crazy thrown in.

Hopefully by the end of this I will go from fat fuck to semi skinny asshole.

Until then...Eat a bacon cheeseburger for me...