Window Shopping...

Whats going on Chubby Chasers...

Getting late and I do not have a lot of energy tonight....going to be reaaaaaaaaaaaaal quick...

This weekend I am going away with The CFO...nothing special just to the Jersey Shore (not going to make any reference you all want me too)...Not sure how much I will be able to post from there but I will have a huge weekend recap...I can all ready tell there is going to be cock loads to talk about...

Bfast today...Oatmeal...Tunisian #1 had Pancakes again...I was extremely close to (but surprisingly used better judgement) dumping my oatmeal all over his food and going HOW DO YOUR PANCAKES TASTE NOW BITCH!

Lunch....Some salad and HOT SALMON!!!!! GET PUMPED...usually it is just cold and festering with every ones germs, feces, and semen sitting out at the salad bar all day...but today it was hot and for the caf I would give it a B-....They did well for themselves...ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME...

Snack...Granola bar...In case you care it was fairly delightful...

Dinner...BBQed on the balcony (shhh dont tell my management company) a steak...I love my charcoal grill...It was manmeatasitic (yes thats a real word)....

So I am a fucking idiot...I have touched upon it in earlier blogs but I LOVE LOOKING AT FOOD I CANNOT EAT....I do not know why but it excites me...It turns me on...Every time I see deliciously satiating fattening food my wanger goes from six to midnight...For example everyday when I leave Grand Central heading home I make sure I walk through the awesome market...Today I stood in front of Murray's Cheeses staring for about 5 minutes and wafting in the smell of stale vagina (that's what the smell of 100 different types of cheese all at once smells like...trust me...)...Yesterday it was the fucking bread man...WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF...This is a fun as taking a dick full of AIDS up the ass yet I continue to do it...The weird thing is I do not really have the urge to order anything I kinda just feel like saying hi to the food and letting it know that I am not gone forever and its a temporary vacation...kinda like summer camp...

Today sucked...I say that a lot but it really sucked Camel Testicles...I got home really late...I had a bad day at work and the only thing I wanted to do was eat POUNDS AND POUNDS OF CHICKEN PARM w PASTA....(another recurring theme..bad moods make me want to eat...A LOT)...I got home I fell onto my bed in my work clothes and was about to tap out on the evening...Something just came over me...I got the FUCK out of bed...threw on some shorts and started lifting...TOPLESS!!!!!...I pushed myself harder than I have been doing but IT FELT INSANELY AWESOME...All the anger I had went away...All the thoughts in my head about hurting people badly in weird ways (for example tying someone up and just poking them softly in the eye with a pencil over and over again)...left my brain and now my head was clear...I just wanted to push as hard as I can...AND I DID!!!!...

I wish I had more for you guys but its time to pack...(not fudge pack)...but pack my suitcase...

Well time to make like a fetus and head out...

I promise if I do not get to blog from the shore (btw we are going to the summer home of The Father of The CFO)...I will give the HUUUUGE...I MEAN BIGGER THAN MY FAT ASS HUGE recap on Sunday evening...

Until tomorrow....eat 100...(seriously 100) chicken nuggets with rice and gravy (elementary school caf style)...for This Fat Fuck...

Slow and Steady...

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The Contest...Week 1...

Surprise Chubby Chasers...BONUS BLOG...

Every Tuesday night I am going to throw in a quick recap of the weigh ins...

To recap last week I weighed in at 259...The fluctuator was 210...GTB was 240

The flucuator came home from his mom's bday (happy bday!) and just polished off a chicken parm...dropped to his boxer briefs, hit the scale and our official reader (fit roomate) gave him a GENEROUS...I mean really fucking generous 211...up 1lb and 1%

GTB came in fresh off a training session at Crunch...to get into "wedding shape"....He hit the scale and put up a 240...stayed flat on the week...

Now it was time for me to hit the scale...Now the lits dimmed the fog machine started going and the announcer said Ladies and Gentleman hailing from McDonalds and every other fast food chain the world THE MAN THE MYTH THE LENGEND THIS FAT FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!...The crowd went crazy...As I dropped to my boxers I spread my arms wide and motioned for the crowd to settle down...a hush fell over the apt...The first foot on the scale then the second...the needle started moving and when it came to a halt a 25o.5 showed on the scale...THE CROWD WENT APESHIT...They start chanting FAT FUCK! FAT FUCK! FAT FUCK! Bitches started taking off their shirts and showing their LARGE TATTIES thats how excited they were...as I was carried from the living room to the balcony shoulders of adoring fans..

Ok so I pretty much just made that last paragraph up but my weight...although in my head thats how it played out...down 8.5 lbs in a week and 3.3%...The other 2 have some MAJOR work cut out for them...

After the day I had today seeing that scale has made this week worth it...as have you chubby chasers...

Time to go have a victory apple...

Until next weeks weigh in...eat an extremely fatty pastrami sandwich on rye for This Fat Fuck...

Its been one week...

Don't worry Chubby Chasers I am not singing the Barenaked Ladies song...I am talking about the amount of time since I started sharing my thoughts to the world...

Wow what a week it has been...86 Chubby Chasers and going strong!!!!....Please keep spreading the love...

I know I keep saying this but tonight will be a quick post...

At work I sit in between to Tunisians...They are both Muslim and they both speak French (and from time to time talk over me in it)...They are pretty good dudes...It is also nice to see that Muslims and Jews can get along...

I hit the caf as usual for bfast and came back up with my oatmeal...The Tunisians went down after me...Tunisian #2 (sits to my right) gets some oatmeal as well...however Tunisian #1 (on my left) comes pack with a plate full of pancakes smothered in cream w a side of syrup...I am not the biggest pancake fan but every now and then I CRAVE THEM...I seriously crave them...like would lick a really obese mans silver dollar nipples for 15 seconds in order to have a stack of silver dollar pancakes..Before Tunisian #1 got to where we sit I could smell them in all of their caloric glory...I am almost positive I started drooling and foaming at the mouth...When he sat down and dug into those things I WAS READY TO FUCKING LOSE IT...All I could think about was standing in a room and having syrup and cream doused all over my rotund naked body while I was using the pancakes to clean me off and then shovel them into my mouth (yes I think about being lathered in food a lot)...I literally had to get up and walk away from my desk because I looked like a rapist the way I was staring at Tunisian #1 and his food...WHAT HAS MY LIFE FUCKING COME TO!!!!

Banana for snack, salad w salmon for lunch, and yogurt again for snack...I really know how to switch this shit up...

I was supposed to run tonight but did not walk in from THE MOST AWESOME JOB IN THE WORLD!!!!! (sarcasm at its finest)...till 915...Did not have the motivation to run...I was thinking about walking the AIDS infested stairs but then fit roommate walked in and said lets do some weights in the apt...So we did...Since it is a fucking Sauna in the apt we had our shirts off...fit roommate with his man pecs and this porker with his bitch tits...and we started the routine...If you had the right angle on our living room window and could only see us from the waist up you would have really questioned what was going on...There was a lot of up and down motion going on and with the windows open you would have heard the man grunting REAL CLEAR...I mean really fucking clear...Just naked dude and grunting...PURE AWESOMENESS...

I am really glad I ended up doing this because even though I had zero motivation I had to put in the work...This goal of mine would not happen without hard work and dedication...No matter what kind of mood I am in I need to keep my eye on the prize and keep work hard for something special...

Afterward I had a pork chop and some Cauliflower for dinner...now its time time to get hot wet and naked...SHOWER TIME...

Until tomorrow next time kids...eat some waffles with ice cream for This Fat Fuck...

There is no Santa Claus...

Whats going on Chubby Chasers...

I hope your Monday sucked less cock than mine...

Thanks again to all of the supporters...please keep it up...

I want to take a moment to thank the people who have been emailing me (Chubbynation@gmail.com) with your kind thoughts and awesome advice...Since this blog iseveryone's blog I should not be the only one receiving the help...Some of the advice I share may pertain to you some may not take what you think works...

Today I received the following from a Chubby Chaser:

chobani yogurt. the vanilla or plain. i add sweet-n-low and fresh fruit and shit. blueberries... sometimes half a banana. there's legit 16-18 grams of protein, no sugar, minimal carbs, and only 100-120 calories, leaving you filled but not taking up too much of your daily intake of food, so you have some room for fuckups later.

Thanks so much for the advice...keep it coming chasers...I seriously cannot thank you enough for it...

So today started out like any other shitty ass Monday with me hauling over to Grand Central to get on the train...Except today I was running late so most of the rows were full...Instead of people passing on sitting with me today I got the added bonus of looking at peoples eyes when they thought I was going to sit with them...As shitty as the snub feel this sucks major donkey scrotum...MAJOR!!!

Imagine just walking past people with an empty seat next to them and as this Fat Fuck walks by one of two things occurs...

1. Their eyes start to bulge out of their heads like they have the fear of god in them...

2. They do the way too obvious curl into the corner and intensely stare at the newspaper,bberry, or whatever item they have in front of them hoping I won't notice there is an empty seat next to them...This is so blatantly obvious its almost funnier than it hurts...but not...it still fucking hurts..

So today I ended up next to a nice slender man doing work on his laptop...about halfway through the ride I get an elbow to my side fat...with that I wake up out of a deep deep sleep and I give the dude the WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID YOU JUST FUCKING ELBOW ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT LOOK...Only for him to go you were sleeping on my shoulder...I am a real winner at life...

Bfast...Ass tasting but delicious oatmeal...

Snack...Banana...did not feel that bad today...

Lunch...salad and salmon...HOOK ME UP WITH SOMETHING DIFFERENT CAF...PLEASE!!!

Snack-yogurt

Dinner-Roasted Chicken and QUINOA!!!...Thank god I got some...So I ordered two types from fresh direct...the one in a bag that you make yourself and then one of their 4min sides...I tried the 4 min side version tonight...I did not have time to saute veggies so I just added a little garlic and hot sauce...It was pretty fucking delicious...Wow have I missed Quinoa...

O yea...lifted tonight...bi and tris, back, legs...low weight high rep...high sweat...Working out in my apt is great because it is like a million degrees in here so I sweat like hell...I swear its like I live in a permanent fucking sauna...Thanks building management for having the WORLDS SHITTIEST AC!!!!

Mother aka my coke dealer is very health conscious...so a while back she gave me cum loads ofvitamins she thinks I should be taking...neither her or I know if I should be taking these pills but what the hell and I take them anyway...The problem is Mother has me taking like legit..noexaggeration 12 pills a night...I FEEL LIKE I AM TAKING THE AIDS COCKTAIL!!!...These are not just little tiny turds either....these fuckers are something you would give a rhino or an elephant...Every time I swallow one I am hoping I either don't choke on it or immediately vom on the spot...Love you Mother....

So there are moments in every persons life that they will never forget because of the hole it burned in their heart...These are the moments of pain that will always last a lifetime...Some of these moments include when you find out there is no Santa (title of blog), The WWF (yes I still call it that...fuck the WWE) is not real (don't tell Father...he still watches like it is), and the first time you either walk in on your parents bumping uglies or you come to the realization that the put penis in vagina just like you...Tonight was one of those moments for me...I have been playing on the Givers and Takers (kickball team) for two years now and tonight in the playoffs we had our first loss since I have been on the team....I will never forget how I feel at this moment...This pain is terrible...I WANT TO END MY LIFE...We are good fucking team...no sorry we are a great fucking team and we lost...I am in shock right now..I either want to vomit or eat tons of dirty foods...i want nothing more than a mountain of mo sticks and onions rings...Instead I am gonna go eat an apple and cry myself to sleep...naked in the fetal position...

On that mental image...eat a deep fried snickers for This Fat Fuck....

Sleeping With The Fishes...

Ok Chubby Chasers...Time for round 2...

Teaser time...because of your support and efforts there are some big things on the horizon already for this blog...not ready to share today...soon...I promise...

Not to much to talk about from today...Gonna give a quick rundown of the food and talk about the exercise...

Today again I got up too late for bfast again...

For lunch I went to delectica on 38th and 3rd...Pretty delicious...I had a salad w salmon and some delicious veggies they make...their gazpacho is OFF THE HOOK!!!!

I went to lunch with The CFO...The CFO is someone I am about to reveal to the Chubby Chasers for the first time...She is the amazing and beautiful woman I am proud to call my gf...(she has to be real amazing if she is willing to put up with this blog and all of my bullshit that goes along with it)...

I will refer to her as The CFO for several reasons:

1. She loves to count...seriously...when she is alone and bored she starts at the number 1 and just works her way up...she still refuses to tell me what her high score is....

2. She is 100% the bread winner in this relationship...my face (def not the gut) might be the money maker....but she brings home the turkey bacon and low fat cheddar...

3. She is a CPA

4. I am 100% convinced one day she will be The CFO of a fortune 500 company...The determination she has in her career is something I have never seen and aspire to have myself...If I have 1% of that dedication to the workout plan This Fat Fuck is on the road to MAJOR SUCCESS!!!!

After lunch we walked around the city...roughly 2 miles or so....This did not help for the run...something else I have not mentioned to the chasers yet is I have major grundular issues...No matter how far the distance or the time of year...when I start to walk my grundle BURNS...badly...the longer distance the more it burns...Today it felt like an arsonist broke into my shorts and lit my inner thighs on fire...(this is not a random thought it will come into play in a minute)....

We got home and I got ready for the run...I was real nervous about today's...My fit roommate was home in dirty jerz and so I was on my own...I was very sacred that I would not be able to handle running on my own yet...I felt that the only way I was getting through the runs (actual running not shitting) was from his motivation...even if I did and continue to wish death on him and various diseases....

I dug deep ball powdered up and hit the road...today I ran down the FDR by the water...It was a pretty nice run...FUCK THE DOG PARK THIS IS WHERE THE BITCHES ARE AT...(I can look... no desire to touch...The CFO is one fine piece of ass)...The amount of talent that ran by was enough to keep me going...There is something about a hot chick running past you that makes you keep running...for some reason if I stop in front of that chick suddenly I look like the bitch...

As I started the run I planned to go to about 14th street turn around and get back as quick as fucking possible...because as you know RUNNING BLOWS!!!!....As I am busting ass down the river I still have dick up my ass legs and now the grundle from hell....THIS FEELS FANTASTIC!!!

I see 14th street in my sight and for some reason I said MAN UP...I kept moving and before I knew it I HIT HOUSTON (non NYCers its pronounced HOUSETON... also for you non NYCers this turned my run into roughly 4miles instead of 2!!!!)...As I hit Houston and realized what stupid move I had just made I thought there is no fucking way I am making it home what am I gonna do....With all the burning going on below the belt the only thing I wanted to do was through myself into the river and go sleeping with the fishes...BIG TIME....

For a Fat Fuck like myself motivating is one of the hardest things to do...Losing weight and working out is all about motivating ones self and in order to get to the desired weight you need to not just motivate yourself to start but every little thing you do requires motivation...from taking the stairs, to working out, to even not eating the mac and cheese at dinner when The CFO was...(I had chicken and beans)...Motivating is exhausting and it is very easy to lose...So to all of us tubs of lard...every day you go out there and motivate yourself I commend you for it and could not be prouder cause nobody knows what that is like more than me...

So for the fact that I was able to not only motivate my way to Houston but then to have the motivation not to walk back but run (still some stopping and walking mixed in) as well was HUGE...I cannot overstate that it was FUCKING HUGE....And today I was able to do this ON MY OWN without the fit roommates help...This is a big deal to me and I really cannot express the joy in my heart about it right now....

It is getting late so that clearly means it is time for me to get into bed and think about farm animals...

O yea Fresh Direct showed up with dick loads of Quinoa...life is good...

Tomorrow night the Givers and Takers taken the field for the first playoff game...I would say wish us look but when you are as good as us you do not need it...

Until tomorrow...eat some mac and cheese with TONS OF CHEDDAR AND GOUDA for This Fat Fuck...

Shots Shots Shots Shots...and an old man's bday

Sunday nights fucking blow...I hate them...nothing worse then knowing I gotta wake up in the morning to get on the train and watch people avoid me...Hopefully I can put a smile on people's faces before they get some sleep....

As always thanks to the new Chubby Chasers...Keep on spreading the love...the responses have been overwhelming...

I wanna give some Fat Fuck Love to Wife of Don King (WDK) for her bday...she had a really awesome party last night...and by awesome I mean married couples sitting around on a couch watching the video from their rehearsal dinner....I also gave her love cause she asked to be in the blog...Glad I showed up...

This post will recap sat and then I am gonna do another one tonight on today...So 2 posts today folks...GET PUMPED!!!!!

Quick rundown on Saturday food..

Bfast-woke up to0 late

Lunch -Grilled Chicken and Salad

Liquid Dinner

Late Night-Roast Beef on a plate (more on this in a bit)

Yesterday I attended a surprise 30th bday for one of my friends at the Boat Basin Cafe...It was a lot of fun...He will be referred to in my blog as Short Bus because to put it nicely he is not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Everywhere in life there are temptations...yesterday was a big one...at Short Bus' party they had a buffet of food with nothing but awesome crap...I mean awesome fucking crap...chicken fingers, quesadillas, and all sorts of fried deliciousness...I wanted to eat this stuff bad...There is nothing more awesome sitting at a table w your friends when they are chowing down on dirty greasy food and you get to eat some peppers and cauliflower...I kept having this overwhelming urge to just jump over the table grab someones food and rub it all over my body and face...sadly this did not happen...

After the parents and other old folks left the real shit began...we left the Boat Basin and hit up Prohibition on 85th and Columbus...pretty cool fucking bar...As soon as we got in the Jamo started flowing and it flowed hard...As the beers and shots were going down an 80s cover band came on....

As the music started playing I TORE IT UP...I WAS CUTTING UP THE RUG BIG TIME!!!!....The thing about me dancing is I look somewhere in between having a seizure and downs syndrome...not a pretty sight by any means...The best part of this is when I am in the proverbial "zone" I am pretty sure I think I could probably win So You Think You Can Dance...almost everyone else would think I should be committed...

As the band was playing we were escorted to the front by the security guard because our spastic dancing was bothering him...The girls we pushed in front of were not happy about it...One yelled at me and told me to "move my fat ass out of her space" As we ignored and kept dancing I was stomped on, elbowed, a beer dumped on my head, and then my personal favorite had my fat pinched several times...This is all a day in the life of a Fat Fuck...getting seat snubbed on the train does not seem so bad now...

As I stumbled out of the bar I hit up that other redic party I just mentioned...After that the real fun began...As I got out of the cab all I could think about was DRUNK FOOD...A Fat Fuck's Favorite...walking past me were people scarfing down pizza and grabbing sandwiches from the deli in my building...The only thing I could think about was how much I wanted shovel in a bacon egg and cheese and then get some Oreo cookies...Some how in my drunk state all I ordered was a half a pound of roast beef....Went upstairs put some mustard on a plate and went to town...I might have well just have played seven minutes in heaven with the beef the way I was making love to it...note to self...when you pass out with a plate of mustard on your chest you will wake up covered in mustard on your chest, face, back and orifices you did not even know you had...also mustard to the nostril is quite pungent and stings...a lot...I am still smelling it...

I am proud of myself for this (well not the mustard part)...I am realistic and know I am gonna booze my face of but at least I limited the side effects from it...So time to wrap this one up and get a jump on the next...

Until 5 minutes from now when I post again....eat a bacon egg and cheese on a roll...for This Fat Fuck....

Running on empty...

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO Chubby Nation!!!!

Great to see some more Chubby Chasers...as always please get your friends to follow the blog that is the fastest growing blog on the internet that weighs over 250lbs and written in an NYC apt by a curly haired Jew around...

Wanted to get a quick post in before I get my day going...

So I went to do my run yesterday...and It started Fucking Pouring!!!...The heavens opened up and it was thunder and lighting city...I knew I still had to get my cardio in...I was sitting around thinking of options and I said "I have a great idea, since I am so good at walking stairs, why don't I walk from the lobby to the top, an easy 35 flights." Wow...I am a fucking retard...

I headed down to the lobby and I started making my decent to the roof...I was moving along well then I got to the 5th floor and I was ready to end my life...This was fucking miserable...Every step I took I was very nervous it would be my last and I would start tumbling down like Humpty Dumpty...My other big fear was that I was going to have a stroke and fall on the staircase and nobody would ever know I was there....(yes there are actual thoughts in my sick ass head)...The worst part of the stairs is the air quality...I am pretty sure I was breathing in something close to AIDS...Finally I reached the top and conquered my NYC apt version of Mount Everest...I never thought I would say this but wow I really missed running...so thanks for the rain and that awesome experience mother nature...lets do it again real soon...

As I touched upon it yesterday I love going out...One of my favorite things in the world is going to bar w some friends, crushing booze, having superb casual conversation, and making fantastic memories that I actually will most likely never remember...

The hardest part of the losing weight is trying to figure out how I can factor in "getting shitfaced"

Last night was a good start in all of that...I went out with fit roommate to meet up with some people from high school...We had a great time...it was nothing crazy...just a good hang session for a friend's bday...(happy bday Chubby Chaser!)...I learned last night that it is socially acceptable to go into a bar have one or two drinks and be a normal member of society (something I did not think was possible)...I do not have to go out with the intent of pounding Jamo till I go home and sleep under my bed (yes I do that when I am hammered)....

Yes there will be days when that will happen but they will by waaaaaaaaaaaay fewer now (so I say)...This day will be one of those rip roaring fun days of BINGE DRINKING...I have a couple of things planned and it will lead for a real entertaining entry tomorrow...I hope...

I am sitting on my couch right now (boxers only of course) waiting to hear back from a friend who stood me up for our manicure date...Yes I get manicures...Oddly enough being a Fat Fuck is not my only issue...I bite my nails...bad...really bad...I don't think I have seen anyone who bites worse than me....If you saw my nails you would think I am the biggest nervous, insecure piece of shit...not the case...my nails are there so I eat them and getting them as low as possible for me is a challenge...So in order to help me stop biting I get manicures...I get pedicures too but thats cause they feel fantastic...Yes I know I am a huge floppy floppy VAGINA...I have come to terms with it, hopefully you Chubby Chasers can as well.

I say I am running on empty because I get up at 6 to head to Stamford on the train where people will not sit with me...I eat my shitty caf lunch then I head back home...I get in around 730-8...I then first work out till like 930-10 then eat dinner...The high from working out keeps me up till like 130-2...I am now getting no fucking sleep...I will get in bed and try to sleep...I just end up thinking about weird shit involving farm animals (I will let you guys guess what it is)...

If any of you know a way to help me sleep that does not involve taking a bottle of Jamo or Jack to the face, or popping pills like Lindsay Lohan please please please hook a Fatty up and leave a comment on the blog...

Until later kids...eat lobster roll with tons of mayo and butter...for This Fat Fuck...

Casualty of War

Thank god its the fucking weekend Chubby Chasers...

What a week this has been...Can you believe it...50 FUCKING FOLLOWERS since Tuesday...This is incredible...thanks to all of you who have been spreading the word...keep doing so...to those who are reading but not following please join...Lets keep growing Chubby Nation...

I wanna give some love to my cousin who will be referred to as Don King because nobody has been promoting "You Fat Fuck" like he has...I wrote my first two posts and was not sure if I was gonna send it out to the masses cause I thought they sucked major horse cock...I let him read it anyway and he told me the world needs to here my voice so DK I cannot thank you enough...

This is not only my blog but it is yours as well...Without the Chubby Chasers I would be going nowhere so please use the comments section to give me ideas on things you want to see in the blog, things that you liked that I am posting, and anything else you can think of. If you have the urge to make fun of this Fat Fuck thats ok too...I will use it as motivation...

I have also created a gmail account....I will give you one guess what it is....Chubbynation@gmail.com.....Feel fee to email me whatever you want there....I was a little hesitant with the email address because I am sure I will be getting tons of porn spam with that name...Not sure if it is gonna be tons of fat hos or lots of gay dudes with chubbies...only time will tell...

Quick post tonight...Still gotta run and eat dinner before I head out to party...I love all things booze, partying, and of course drunk food so I am real nervous what my first night out will be like...I will share the details tomorrow...

I know dick about running...Some of you Chubby Chasers know lots about it...please let me know what type of sneakers I need and any other equipment that would be useful...

That being said This Fat Fuck will be running in a 5K in the near future!!!!....I figure if I am gonna run might as well set a goal...Still working on when it will be...

Some of you are prob thinking who cares its only 3miles...For This Fat Fuck its a huge deal...The longest distance I have ever ran before this was from the elevator to the toilet on a photo finish (a term DK likes to call when you are racing to the shitter and are not sure if your gonna crap your pants or if the dump will make it to the bowl)...Trust me I have had tons of those...not fun...

Out of my 50 followers so far none of them are who I consider to be two of my biggest supporters in life...Mother and Father...

Both of their excuses seem to be they do not know how to work the internet...although mother not being a Chubby Chaser kinda makes sense considering she thinks I am "the fat version of Sawyer from the tv show LOST"....I also had a convo recently w her about how Coke (I will let you guess what type) makes you lose weight...In that convo she asked if I use it and I said no...She then told me maybe I should start...she also volunteered to front the habit...Thanks Mother!

Before I get into my last bit today I should preface it with I am a terrible walker...I know that sounds like an odd statement but it is true...I am very good at walking and without tripping over anything just falling down...In the winter I am good for about 3 falls a week...I know my strengths and walking is not one of them...neither is googling but thats another story...

I work on the 6th floor and the dreaded caf is on the 5th...I make sure I take the stairs up and down every day....specifically the ones next to the escalator...I do this not for exercise but as a reminder that throughout this journey when given the option to take the easy road or the hard road I will get nowhere unless I take the hard one...So as I was walking up the stairs this morning w my black iced coffee and oatmeal I face planted right in the middle of the staircase...HARD...I smash into my iced coffee and oatmeal...I am now laying in the middle of the staircase in a pool of oatmeal and iced coffee....As I am laying on the floor the coffee is running down the staircase and there are about 25-30 people just staring and trying their best not to laugh and or call me a fucking idiot, asshole, or anything to that affect...For the rest of the day I was now stained and smelled like the homeless man who lives on my block...MY LIFE BLOWS....(please laugh and make fun of me here)...

Quick food rundown:

Bfast-oatmeal and coffee lathered on my body...

Snack-heatburn city with the banana

Lunch-cold piece of salmon...caf gets worse every day...

Snack-yogurt

Dinner-not sure yet...I am out of Quinoa and i am not happy about it (if you are a true Chubby Chaser you know that I heart Quinoa)

Thanks again for all of your love and support...

Cannot wait to tell you how the first night out goes...wish me luck...

Time to run...

Until tomorrow morning...eat some roast pork lo mein for This Fat Fuck....

A Change We Can Believe In!!!!

SIX FUCKING POUNDS!!!!!!

That's right Chubby Chasers I weighed in tonight at 253!!!!!

If your like a few of my friends and cannot do math I started at 259.

I am so fucking pumped right now....

Thank you so much to all the new Chubby Chasers we have doubled in size since yesterday!

I am a man of the people and I have heard your requests...The new blog website is CHUBBYNATION.BLOGSPOT.COM

I have changed it so it is a little more work friendly and people can send the URL out and get the word going...Don't worry the content will be exactly the same just SIX POUNDS LIGHTER!!!!

I cannot thank all of you enough for the love and support I have been getting over the last few days...it has been incredible and is the number one thing getting me going!

Not a lot to blog about today but I will give you some quick hits...

Bfast I had Oatmeal...A lot of people have been giving me healthy ways to mask the taste of plain oatmeal...The weird thing about oatmeal for me is I know it gonna task like a mixture between herpes and asshole...When I eat the oatmeal it does taste somewhere close to that...however I really do not mind the taste of oatmeal...I actually kinda enjoy it...

For snack I had a banana....It gave me the worst fucking heartburn....I really thought i was gonna keel over at my desk curl up in the fetal position and start convulsing....

Lunch was a salad with Salmon...If you know anyone who works in the caf at my building tell them the Salad bar fucking sucks ass and they need to improve

Afternoon snack was yogurt and dinner was chicken and beans....Let the farts fly!!!! I think my farts are pretty some of the best...they leave a smell so you know it happened but its not gonna ruin any one's day.

Big highlight of the evening was my kickball game...I am so glad I ditched out of work early to trek over to the fucking grundle of Manhattan aka Randals Island for the other team to be a no show...FUCKING BULLSHIT...Either way give a win to the Givers and Takers (yes that is our team name)...Playoffs start Monday!

Came home did some weights again (low weight high rep)...Worked up a real nice lather (please take a moment to picture that image)....Really starting to feel the soreness....and yes I still have dick up my ass legs....

So thanks for following...please keep spreading the love and keep telling people to join CHUBBY.NATION.BLOGSPOT.COM....

Time to call it a night....

In case I did not brag enough earlier in the blog I LOST SIX FUCKING POUNDS!!!!!

Until tomorrow folks.....eat a chicken parm sub for This Fat Fuck....

CHUBBYNATION.BLOGSPOT.COM

Nude Photos Inside!!!!!!

Sadly though they are of This Fat Fuck....

These are my first shots...cannot wait to share the updates with you as we go through this journey....I promise the train wreck you see below will only get better...

On other news....the GTB has decided to join the weight loss challenge...he came in at 240lbs...

Since there are now 3 places...3rd eats the salad...2nd can get fish...and I the winner will get steak...

2nd and 3rd place get to pay for my meal....

Without further wait...NUDE PICS!!!!!!

Until next time...If you can still stomach some food....have some coffee ice cream for This Fat Fuck...

Mommy Wow I'm a Big Kid Now...

I think I need to wear diapers....

I will get back to that in a moment....

Thank you to the 13 new Chubby Chasers for the support....Please keep spreading the word...the more chasers the better....

To explain my opening statement:

I now limit myself to three beverages, water, black coffee, and alcohol....I now drink ass tons of water....Today at work I drank about 4 to 5 liters....

I like drinking water for several reasons 1. It keeps me full 2. Its healthy and flushes all the crap out of me and 3. The motion of putting something in my mouth over and over keeps me going through the day without snacking on shit (please insert penis and gay joke here)

The major side affect of this water drinking is I am pissing a lot...I mean a lot...my bladder is the cross between a 4 year old girl and an 80yr old man w an overactive prostate...Flomax aint got shit on my bladder...

I am now getting up from my desk about every 25 minutes sprinting to the bathroom to put some water into the bowl...This is not good...I look unproductive as shit and everyone keeps looking at me when they see me go in and out the door every 20 minutes...I never thought at 26yrs old I would need to start wearing adult diapers...FUCK MY LIFE....

Quick rundown on today's food....Bfast: Oatmeal Lunch: Salad w Chicken...Dinner Ground Turkey (looked like a combo of dog food and VOM)

The big excitement of today was the run (sense the sarcasm)...If humanly possible this sucked more balls then the first one did...I was still walking around with dick up my ass legs and so running on them felt like shit....

Today though we had another fat fuck join the fold on the run...This is my best friend...The Groom To Be...you know for that damn wedding that started all of this...

Since about 12yrs old the GTB has been my partner in crime...you name it we have done it together (except for fucking and sucking all though some would debate that)...I love the kid like he is my brother...He was the first Chubby Chaser and has been promoting this like crazy....I could not be happier that this tub of lard joined us today....

So me, my fit roommate, dog and GTB set out for the same run as Monday...This time I had my legs going against me and the GTB "just took a big dump and had a terrible wipe" as he said going against him...

I hauled my fat ass to the dog park and this time to my disappointment the only people in there were fat men...FUCKING BULLSHIT....kill me now....

Finally as we left there were a crowd of ten cute chicks but I saw something even more beautiful just behind them....I glanced over them to the bright lights and huge amounts of grease of Shake Shack...What I would have done for a Shack Burger....(I will let you come up with the perverted act)

Once again the roommate started yelling and told us to book it home...today i was hoping a homeless man tripped him and stabbed him w a dirty needle...no such luck...

Made it home safely...and better for it....Day 3 down and feeling good...

Until tomorrow....Have a milkshake and fries for This Fat Fuck....

The Contest

Hello again Chubby Chasers...a quick turn around here....

Some days I will hit you with a lot other days not so much....today I drop a bomb...

As I was all set to face my fears and get on the scale when I woke up in the morning...my other roommate (we will refer to him as the kinda chubby one)....posed a challenge....

Me vs. Him who can lose more weight by percentage...

Here are the rules...Person who drops the most by the Tuesday after Labor Day wins...

To the victor a fat ass steak dinner at the steakhouse of his choice...So most likely I will be dining at Lucky Jacks...

To the pathetic loser...they must sit at dinner and eat nothing more than a salad....(Chubby One...I hope you eat a lot for lunch that day...but if you still hungry you can nibble on my cock...)

I am actually very scared in this...the chubby one is what we call a fluctuater....Usually this term is reserved for chicks who can get real thin or get real fat and the drop of a dime...but my roommate can do that as well....Although on most occasions he has been seen sipping cosmopolitans so go figure...He also has retard strength and on any given day will run 20 miles cause he is bored....O God what the fuck did I sign up for....

So tonight I finally faced that fear and stepped on the scale...This was one of the harder things I had to do...but IT HAD TO BE DONE...

The scale we own looks about 70 years old and looks like it has had its share of fatties on it....with that said the thing only goes up to 300 lbs...I was real scared...I thought we were gonna have to go to a cow farm to put me on a scale....

So a took a deep breath stepped on up and when I looked down I thought the needle was broken....I registered in at 259....not good but I will take it...

For those keeping score at home the chubby one came in at 21o....

Well everyone LET THE GAMES BEGIN...AND may this Fat Fuck take home the proverbial turkey bacon....

Win or lose I will be better off....

Until tomorrow....eat a loaded baked potato with shit tons of bacon and sour cream for This Fat Fuck....

Scale don't Lie...

Whats up Chubby Chasers (followers of my blog)....I want to thank the first four to join the cause and chase me...

Having more Chasers means having more supporters and to me having that support system means the world....so please become one....

If you want to join the revolution just create and blogspot account and hit follow...

Day 2 started off like any other except the when I stood up this morning I nearly dropped to ground forgetting that I went on my first run in 26 years and my muscles were sore as fuck...

Seriously they are fucking sore...There is not an inch of my body that does not hurt...I walked around today looking like I took a high hard one right to the shit shoot...and this wasn't just like an Asian cock this was like a Ron Jeremy type monster....Not a pretty sight...

I go to Stamford for work everyday....Going there sucks ass....I have a short bald and not so wise friend who once said "Stamford is where fun goes to die". Every morning I get on the train and sit on the aisle of a two seater....As the train starts to fill up people have to start sharing rows....On a daily basis I am one of the last people to have someone sit next to them....I always thought how lucky am I...then I realized oh wow maybe they just want more room....

Today my fear came true...as usual the train started to fill up and a gentleman sat next to me...not the most slender man....it was a tight fit and lets just we got to know each other well....a few moments later he got up and stood by the window...A man chose standing for 50 mintues over sitting next to me...not one of my prouder moments....

Today for bfast I took a good whiff of the tots and grabbed myself some oatmeal....Lunch today I had some leftover grilled chicken and some veggies....Dinner was more flounder and my new best friend quinoa (if you have never tried the grain...I suggest you do)

Today I got home from work and my roommate (we will call him the fit one) left me some weight exercises today....Low weight high rep and get the cardio going...this was much better than the running...

The thing about my roommate is that is he is my guide through all of this as he was once a former fatty himself....now in my opinion can slay bitches....If I stick to his plan and guidance hopefully this fat fuck can start shedding MAJOR lbs...

After talking to a few people they believe at the end of every post I should also post my weight....I agree and I will start doing this....Also for you laddies I will start to post half naked pictures of myself ...not so you can just compare your titties to mine but you can see the progress....(I must say though if I were a chick I would have some real nice nipular areas)

Getting on the scale scares the fucking shit out of me....I know I am a large man...but by seeing that number is a confirmation of my worst fears...Even the past few years when I lost weight I still would not get on the scale because seeing that number was something that I could not bring myself to do...but I guess now is a better time then ever to conquer that....

Tomorrow photos and weight will be posted....

Until then....eat a corn dog for this Fat Fuck....

Put me down....

So the first post was getting long and more of a background into what I will be writing about...

This post is all about how Day 1 went...more specifically the run...

I am pretty good with the eating....I have very good will power and I can more or less control myself....Its the exercise that hurts....a lot...

I woke up this morning ready to conquer the world and start my healthy living life style.

I got dressed for work and put on one of the few pairs of pants that still fit me. Every morning when I put on the tight shirt and pants I get a little depressed and tell myself to do something about it....Finally today this fat fuck is....

The only place to eat near my office is in our caf. This sucks. The food is shitty but you make the best of it cause it is all that is there. The caf has many temptations for both bfast and lunch.

The big morning distraction for me is the tots. Like most large people I love a good tot...and boy these are good....Thankfully the steam table where the tots, sausage, and bacon are in the back and I can avoid them...Although I have to torture myself and take a look (yes I am fucking moron). I got the idea from White Goodman in the major motion picture Dodgeball.

All morning I sit at my desk thinking about lunch. That is what gets me through the day. When one rolls around I head down to the caf and do what I call "the tour". On this tour I usually take a look at the salad bar then I try a soup or two. Next we walk past the steam tables then to the grill and the specials of the day, really taking in the aroma. Then I finally pick the grimiest unhealthiest item they have and eat my face off. NOT TODAY!

Today I ate oatmeal for bfast and a bed of spinach w salmon for lunch....GOD I SUCK...but I gotta get healthy.

Once I got home tonight I made myself some dinner....(Flounder and Quinoa)....quite delicious...then it was hell time....

My roommate got my large ass off the couch and me him and his dog went for the dreaded run....

I fucking hate running. There is nothing worse in the world to me. I would rather blow a dude with AIDS then run.

We leave the apartment and I am doing ok...we get about an avenue and a few blocks in and I want to die. As I am running I am thinking about every single way I could kill myself and take myself out of my misery at this moment. This is when I scream to my roommate "Put me down".

Finally a mile later w my calves and feet burning we get to the dog park and I can sit. This best part of the dog part for me is the hot fucking bitches who go there. This was the only thing that got me through the urge of wanting to die.

After we looked at some chicks we headed out....I thought we were gonna have a nice and easy walk back but my roommate starts yelling at me to run and all I could think about was finding a brick and cracking him in the back of the head with it.

Finally we make it back to the apt without calling 911 for a heart attack or me getting hit by a car.

So day one is done and nobody had to put me down....

Until tomorrow folks...eat a slice of pizza for this fat fuck....

You Fat Fuck...

You Fat Fuck....is a phrase I have been hearing for about half of my life. It is something that no matter how much you hear it and how much you shrug it off, the feeling of those words always hurts.

I have been pretty much called everything from a fat fuck to a pregnant lady's stunt double. It is time to make it stop.

This blog is going to be a 26yr old dudes journey through the awful world of weight loss with my crazy life thrown in.

There are 2 big things going against me. 1. I LOVE FOOD. I don't just love it like most people, food is my life. I think about it as much as I think about masturbation (and I think about that A LOT). I spend my free time researching restaurants and planning my next meal. 2. I am extremely lazy and love watching sports and crushing beers.

This is not my first foray into losing weight as in the past 2 yrs I have lost roughly 30-40lbs on two separate occasions but always putting it back on. This time I want to take the weight off and keep it off.

To describe me, I am about 6 foot 1 and weigh somewhere between 260-300lbs. This is not good. I would not call myself obese but if I were in a dark room and a dude was brought in w the lights off and said feel this person up and tell me what you think. They would probably respond with "judging by her tits I think I would fuck her" only then when they turn the lights on to see me.

The kick start for my weight loss is something I like to call "the squeeze" every porker like myself knows what I am talking about. The squeeze is when you are in a store and are trying to buy clothing and force your body with all your might to get into it and convince yourself it fits when you know damn well that button is gonna pop and your rolls are hanging out.

The squeeze can also happen when you are trying on your own clothing, say a tuxedo. This is my situation. I have my best friends wedding coming up in 2 months and I need to get into a tux that fit me a year ago. This is my first goal. Get my fat ass into a tux that does not fit. Normally I would not care but my friends fiance is a little crazy, to put it nicely, and if I show up in anything but a fashionably tux she will cut my balls of and feed them to me.

So to anyone who actually reads this I wish you luck. I am gonna try and blog often about what I am eating how I am working out and the progress I am making with a little bit of crazy thrown in.

Hopefully by the end of this I will go from fat fuck to semi skinny asshole.

Until then...Eat a bacon cheeseburger for me...