This post is all about how Day 1 went...more specifically the run...
I am pretty good with the eating....I have very good will power and I can more or less control myself....Its the exercise that hurts....a lot...
I woke up this morning ready to conquer the world and start my healthy living life style.
I got dressed for work and put on one of the few pairs of pants that still fit me. Every morning when I put on the tight shirt and pants I get a little depressed and tell myself to do something about it....Finally today this fat fuck is....
The only place to eat near my office is in our caf. This sucks. The food is shitty but you make the best of it cause it is all that is there. The caf has many temptations for both bfast and lunch.
The big morning distraction for me is the tots. Like most large people I love a good tot...and boy these are good....Thankfully the steam table where the tots, sausage, and bacon are in the back and I can avoid them...Although I have to torture myself and take a look (yes I am fucking moron). I got the idea from White Goodman in the major motion picture Dodgeball.
All morning I sit at my desk thinking about lunch. That is what gets me through the day. When one rolls around I head down to the caf and do what I call "the tour". On this tour I usually take a look at the salad bar then I try a soup or two. Next we walk past the steam tables then to the grill and the specials of the day, really taking in the aroma. Then I finally pick the grimiest unhealthiest item they have and eat my face off. NOT TODAY!
Today I ate oatmeal for bfast and a bed of spinach w salmon for lunch....GOD I SUCK...but I gotta get healthy.
Once I got home tonight I made myself some dinner....(Flounder and Quinoa)....quite delicious...then it was hell time....
My roommate got my large ass off the couch and me him and his dog went for the dreaded run....
I fucking hate running. There is nothing worse in the world to me. I would rather blow a dude with AIDS then run.
We leave the apartment and I am doing ok...we get about an avenue and a few blocks in and I want to die. As I am running I am thinking about every single way I could kill myself and take myself out of my misery at this moment. This is when I scream to my roommate "Put me down".
Finally a mile later w my calves and feet burning we get to the dog park and I can sit. This best part of the dog part for me is the hot fucking bitches who go there. This was the only thing that got me through the urge of wanting to die.
After we looked at some chicks we headed out....I thought we were gonna have a nice and easy walk back but my roommate starts yelling at me to run and all I could think about was finding a brick and cracking him in the back of the head with it.
Finally we make it back to the apt without calling 911 for a heart attack or me getting hit by a car.
So day one is done and nobody had to put me down....
Until tomorrow folks...eat a slice of pizza for this fat fuck....
Dear Big Man,
ReplyDeleteI really wanted to say that I enjoyed reading your blog and I know you can do it. I too shared your pain, but one day a vision came to me, a vision of a beautiful friend who came to my aid. That friend was Jesus. The Good Lord came to me and guided me along the way. The Good Lord gave me the strength, good spirits and inspiration to achieve victory.
I too hope that the Good Lord guides you to your goals. If everyone accepted Jesus, like I do, their hopes and dreams would also come true.
"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil."
- Matthew 4:1
Amen!