Hope your week is going better than mine..
I swear tonight's is going to be short...I really have nothing to talk about...
MORE TRAIN FUN!!!!...As you all know people hate sitting next to this Fat Fuck on the train...Today was more of that...So I am sitting on the train reading the ny post watching people not want to sit with me then THE ULTIMATE INSULT FINALLY OCCURRED....Some cute little chick came over to where I was sitting and I thought awesome maybe I can "accidentally" sleep on her shoulder...She looks at me and goes "excuse me can I si....O wait never mind" and kept walking..As if she just saw and empty seat, went to sit there then realized she would be sitting with me and said ehh I do not feel like being smothered to death between the side of the train and his rolls of fat...THANKS BITCH...THANKS FOR THE FUCKING EGO BOOST...I really appreciate it...While you are walking to the next car I hope you don't fall in between the two cars and die a slow and painful death...
Bfast...MORE OATMEAL!!!! As much as it tastes terrible I kinda think it would be really relaxing and soothing to take a bath in...just a thought...
Snack...Banana...A Chubby Chaser and One of the most amazing people in the world gave me a great tip on how to deal with the heartburn (Thanks Aunt Atlanta!)...If you cut the seeds out of the banana you will eliminate the heartburn...I am not sure how one would cut them out...I may buy 20 bananas (guy on 33 an 2nd sells 5 for a buck) and figure it out...I also decided I do not mind the heart burn cause it is a great distraction from my work...
Lunch...I had asparagus and salmon...I WANT TO CRY!!!...I really hate bringing my lunch to work and I am getting DANGEROUSLY close to it...FUCK YOU dining services...
Snack...Granola Bar in the filing room again...I am pretty sure I could bring in a sleeping bag put it on one of the shelves and pass out for an hour and nobody would know...My company really knows a great way to spend money on its talent...I am convinced If I wheeled one of the moving shelving units in the room on top of myself and got trapped nobody would know or care...What a great working atmosphere...
When I go and buy my granola bar every day there is a popcorn machine in the store...There is nothing more intoxicating then the smell of popcorn...Everyday I stare at the machine and dream about being in a room full of popcorn just swimming around in it (doing the backstroke) and enjoying life with hot butter dripping down on me...Then I realize I am not going to eat the popcorn and think about picking up the machine and throwing it on the floor so nobody can...
Came home and lifted in my sauna like apt...In case you care I wore boxers and a pink bandanna...That is a good transition into the next topic...
So the other day I talked about the FOTB who gave me the running quote...I decided we will call him Papa Smurf...He is the man...A rising star at his company by day and a FUCKING ANIMAL AT NIGHT...When the Jamo enters his body the clothing leaves it...It is not uncommon for him to be in a bar and start dancing with his pants down...He once even put his bare ass on a cop car...In Seattle he made out with a woman above 65 in an IHOP at 3am...I HEART PAPA SMURF...however some people (by some I mean everyone who knows us) think we might be in a dudetastic relationship...Jury is still out...
Papa Smurf Showed up tonight and I answered the door in my boxers and pink bandana...I made us a lovely meal...I AM A FUCKING MORON and forgot how much dirty salmon I am eating these days and bought some cause it was on sale...He is a Jew and therefore would not pass up a free meal...He ate the salmon I had pork...we shared Quinoa (now a fan!) and spinach..quite delightful...He brought a bottle of wine that he had gift wrapped (he bought the wine a block from my apt)....WE ARE STRAIGHT I SWEAR...although when The CFO showed up he asked her to leave cause it was our special time...AGAIN I SWEAR WE HAVE NEVER ANALLY PENETRATED EACH OTHER...He did ask if we could feed each other bites...I thought about it...On second thought maybe we do have something going on...O GOD...On that note time to wrap it up (thats what she said)...
Yes a very uneventful day...as you all can tell...
Time for a little more exercise...this time in the bedroom w The CFO...I hope...
Until tomorrow...eat Fettuccine Alfredo (CFOs Suggestion)...For This Fat Fuck...
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